Mark Twain Quotes
Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Make it a point to do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Let us endeavour so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Every man has a secret ambition: to outsmart horses, fish, and women.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, brave, hated, and scorned. When his cause succeeds however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
There are two times in a man's life when he shouldn't speculate: when he can afford to and when he can't.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
A man who tries to carry a cat home by its tail will learn a lesson that can be learned in no other way.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.
Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
You see my kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions, or its office holders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death. To be loyal to rags, to shout for rags, to worship rags, to die for rags-this is loyalty to unreason, it is pure animal; it belongs to monarchy, was invented by monarchy; let monarchy keep it.
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